life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
