I murdered the dance floor call the cops
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
