That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
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