Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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