dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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