jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
You may now shotgun with the bride
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
