I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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