some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
