I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
