May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
