who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
