he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
