I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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