I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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