I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Holy sore nipples Batman
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
