THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
