is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
