thus making me awesome and them whores
i just had sex bonerless
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
