I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
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