i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
