she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
