i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
