girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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