Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
