took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
