they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I understand Curling. That high.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
