hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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