Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
