did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
