is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
