my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
this will be a night to untag.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
