That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
