Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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