puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
