I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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