Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
