Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
