I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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