that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
