I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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