How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
