I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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