There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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