She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
