like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
party gras won. party gras always wins.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
