You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
My life is pants optional.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
