The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
