You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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