Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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