Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
