haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
