i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
