Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
