hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
That's when you crack a 10am beer
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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