New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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