So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
